Tomb raiding

Before I bring you the latest update, a quick apology for the fruity language that crept into the last blog (and was very quickly picked up by my mum) - I'll try to keep it PG from now on... I've also made progress with the videos - they're a bit grainier, but they can now be uploaded in minutes rather than hours, which is good news when you're sitting in an internet games room with a dozen screaming Thai kids playing a networked game of football around you.

Since last time, I spent five nights in Cambodia checking out Phnom Penh and the Angkor temples at Siem Ream. I'm now in Bangkok waiting for a freight forwarder to complete the paperwork on my bike. Then I'll be able to put it on a plane to Kathmandu, because I can't ride it through Myanmar or China.

Phnom Penh has incredible energy. It's is pretty edgy - there's more poverty than I saw anywhere else in SE Asia, with street children and people sleeping on the pavements. But there's also more affluence - a lot of Land Cruisers and new Mercedes cars. And it has some cool restaurants and bars, not to mention crazy traffic.. I stayed at the Indochine Hotel, which had nice rooms for $12 and let me park my bike in the lobby, although they didn't mention when I checked in that they would be waking me at 7am each morning to park it outside...

The big tourist draws are the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, which is a former school that was turned into a 'security prison', and the Killing Fields which are about 15km outside town. Both are a sobering reminder Cambodia's recent past.

Choeung Ek - The Killing Fields

After a couple of days in Phnom Penh, I moved on to Siem Reap and the Angkor temples. The road is flat, straight and smooth, but hardly boring - after all, you're riding through the heart of Cambodia - beats working for a living... Siem Reap is Cambodia's answer to Louang Prabang - very tourist-friendly with good hotels and restaurants. I stayed at the excellent Angkor Park Hotel for $8 a night.

I heard that other overland riders had not been allowed to take their motorbikes into the temple area, but I took the 'ask for forgiveness later' approach and on this occasion it paid off. The temples of Angkor are spectacular enough, but being able to ride around them was the icing on the cake. There are plenty of dirt tracks between the temples that get you off the beaten track, so you get access to some pretty exclusive spots.

The temples of Angkor - stunning!

The plan was to spend a couple of nights in Siem Reap and then to move on to Bangkok, which would be my last big ride in SE Asia. But I woke on Friday morning to the unfamiliar rattle of rain on a tin roof and claps of thunder. Until this point, I'd been lucky enough to spend over a month without seeing a single drop of rain. So I decided to have another 'rest day' in Siem Reap, do my laundry, get a haircut and a massage - one of the many benefits of having no schedule or deadlines...

The trip from Siem Reap to Bangkok was another straight, flat ride, although it's a right slog as far as Sisophon because they're doing highway maintenance the Asian way (i.e., you just have to drive through the roadworks and dodge the bulldozers, graders and steamrollers). Not much fun on an overloaded bike with an impatient tar truck up your chuff... I was just relieved that I didn't attempt this section in the rain the previous day, because I'm sure I would have ended up on my backside.

The border crossing at Poipet was fairly straightforward, although I did have to wait for an hour to get my carnet stamped by Cambodian customs because they all take a nap from 12-2pm. After my previous encounter with them, I was glad to get through without any backsheesh. Given the collection of nearly-new Land Cruisers and Lexi in the car park of the Customs House, I think they have been frying bigger fish... As much fun as Cambodia and Laos have been, it was nice to be back in Thailand again - it's so nice to be able to dive into a 7-11 for a strawberry Fanta when things get a little warm.

So now I'm holed up at the Peachy Guest House in Bangkok waiting for Kittima at Trans Air Cargo to sort out the paperwork so that I can fly the bike to Nepal. Current estimate is about a week, and while I'm keen to move on to the Himalayan chapter of the trip, I can think of worse places to be stuck than Bangkok...

Last night I went to the Muay Thai boxing at Rajdamnoen Stadium. The ticket was a bit pricey at 1,500 Baht - about 30 quid - although it was close to the ring - but for sheer entertainment value, it was a bargain. It's all action from the start, the band whips the crowd into a frenzy, thousands of baht changing hands among the crowd - fantastic.

Another must-see in Bangkok is Jim Thompson's house. He was an ex-CIA operative that launched the Thai silk export trade in the 1960s, made a lot of money, built a fantastic house in the centre of Bangkok comprising 6 traditional teak houses that he shipped in from the countryside, built a fantastic Thai art collection, and then mysteriously disappeared in the Cameron Highlands.

Jim Thompson - cool guy, cool house...

On the way back from Jim Thompson's house, I discovered possibly the world's most adrenaline-filled form of public transport - longtail boats. The first one arrived at such speed that I was still standing on the pier in awe when it took off without me. Once on board, the fun really begins - the sidescreens come up to keep the spray out and you're off on a white-knuckle ride through Bangkok's narrow canals. Every 30 seconds or so you pass another boat, which churns up the water and things really kick off. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the guards on each side of the boat dropped the roof by 18 inches to get under a low bridge... magic. I really do think this could be the answer to London's transport problems - boats tearing up the Regent's Canal at 50mph. I'm going for another ride tomorrow...

The bike continues to run well, although I gave the old girl a bit of stick in SE Asia on some very rough roads, which was probably not the smartest thing to do since I still have quite a few kms to cover in some fairly hostile territory. I noticed a bit of clunking from the front-end, so I consulted Pete at Everything Two Wheels, who's providing 24/7 virtual mechanical support for the trip. His advice was fairly unambiguous (editted to comply with new 'potty talk' restrictions):

"For [heavens] sake, don't let some [local mechanic] near the forks. If he takes them apart he'll never get them back together. You need 37mm fork seal drivers to reassemble them. The clunking is the oil getting thin with it getting a workout on the bumpy roads. Buy some ear plugs. That will stop the clunking noise right away."

I decided to replace the chain in Bangkok. In spite of (or maybe because of) regular treatment with the finest sewing machine oil, the chain had started to sound like a sewing machine, and I reasoned that it would be easier to find a replacement at a decent bike shop in Bangkok than at the side of the road in Pakistan. So I headed to Bangkok's finest big bike mechanic, the Red Baron, where they fitted a new chain, cleaned the air filter, and sorted out the clunking (it was the head bearings, not the forks) for 11 quid in labour. At these prices, I can barely afford to leave Thailand...

Indochine

Two weeks since the last update, and so much to write about - there are a few internet cafes in Laos and Cambodia, but not a lot of bandwidth unfortunately...

You may notice that the interactive map is no longer on the right hand side of the blog. It's still alive and well and can be accessed here, but Rich Conroy complained that it was crashing his computer, so I've taken it off. Now Rich is known for having deep pockets and short arms, so he's probably trying to view the blog on a BBC B. If anyone else had problems with the map, let me know. Otherwise the map will go back up, and Rich will have to upgrade or try to find an internet cafe in Hudderfield.

My route has obviously created confusion for a few readers (Larissa - I ate the frog in Malaysia - they do have Chinese restaurants outside China...). So to supplement the map, here's a quick recap since collecting the bike in Singapore: up through Malaysia and Thailand, a week in the Chiang Mai area for the excellent roads, then across into Laos and down into Cambodia. I plan to be back in Thailand in a few days to fly the bike to Kathmandu - hopefully this will be a quicker process than shipping from Brisbane...

So what's been going on over the past 2 weeks? After Chiang Mai, I headed east again to do the Doi Phukka loop before crossing the Mekong into Laos. I know I've been banging on about great biking roads, which is probably of little interest to 98% of the people reading this blog, but as a final remark, the 1148 is without doubt the very, very best road in Northern Thailand. There's a stretch of perfect tarmac north of Pua where they basically forgot to put the straights in - just corner after corner for about 100km across the mountaintops - sheer perfection...

Now I'm usually fairly careful with my toys, but one accessory that I've never had much luck with is cameras. I developed the bad habit of tucking my camera behind the handlebars, and sure enough, it slipped down behind the headstock when I wasn't looking. A touch of full lock and the camera screen was smashed... And when you can get a night's accommodation, a slap-up dinner and full tank of petrol and still have change from twenty quid, shelling out for a new camera really hurts.

But on the bright side, this gave me an excuse to do something I'd meant to try for a while - bikecam... technically, the old camera still works, so I taped it onto the bars to see what happened. Now the results aren't quite motogp standard (more like Blair Witch Project), but it should give a flavour of some of the roads I've been riding.


1148 - THE best road in Thailand (courtesy of shakycam)

Entering Laos was a laugh. I was slightly wary of the People's Democratic Republic after being subjected to their karaoke until 3 in the morning from the other side of the riverbank the previous night. About an hour later, the monks start with the drums and the gongs - some kind of psychological warfare from the Party? Next morning, I decided to skip the classic "motorbike on canoe" photo, since (i) I didn't fancy trying to fish a fully loaded Transalp out of the Mekong, and (ii) there is a significantly more robust barge available. Of course, I hadn't reckoned on sharing the barge with a 50ft truck, by which stage the canoe didn't look like such a bad option.

Are you sure this thing floats?

I rolled off the barge, and there was no immigration or customs office to be seen in Houay Xai. Furthermore, I wasn't entirely sure which side of the road they drive on, and it wasn't immediately obvious from watching the locals, either. Being a responsible world citizen, I finally located the immigration office with the help of an Australian backpacker, and got my first dose of communist service - 30 minutes waiting for someone to take my $35 payment for the visa (no explanation offered). I then spent another half hour looking for the customs office to get the carnet stamped, but this time to no avail. I even stopped at the police station twice, but all I got was grunts and shrugs. So no carnet stamp in Laos - I'm sure the seasoned bikers on Horizons Unlimited will be grumbling into their beards about the trouble this can cause, but it strikes me that the carnet's for their benefit, and if they don't want to see it...

The ride down from Houay Xai to Louang Prabang took about a day and a half, and it's an absolute blinder on a dual sport. The road winds its way through some beautiful mountain scenery, but contains some monster potholes and plenty of unmade sections.

The 13 north of Louang Prabang - brilliant!

It passes through dozens of hill tribe villages, which are typically very tidy but definitely close to nature... I must have passed about a dozen broken down trucks - the roads are seriously steep, and when they expire, they can't be towed and can only be fixed on the spot. Some of them appear to have the entire engine laid out on the road, and may be there for some time...

Not a good place to break down

Louang Prabang is a revelation. The last thing I expected to find in the middle of a poor, rural, communist country is a perfectly preserved / restored French colonial town. It's like riding into a film set, with beautiful old buildings in mint condition, fantastic hotels, and incredible food. I had dinner at the Villa Santi, an old royal mansion, where they offer a banquet served to the Lao royal family, for the princely sum of $13. The royal family died in exile a while back, but I can safely say it wasn't through poor diet. For the foodies reading this blog (Ryan, Michael...) I'll prepare a proper list at some point of all the cool stuff I've eaten.

Indochine is alive and well

I had my first run in with the law in Louang Prabang, where I (foolishly) took a ride round the town 'local-style' (i.e., without helmet). Of course, the local army took this as an open invitation to pull me over and ask for 100,000 Kip, or they would take me to the police station. After some terse words and long stares, this came down to 50,000 Kip, and finally they lost interest, gave me my licence back, and sent me on my way. A couple of lessons learned that I'm sure will come in handy later on - don't ride without a helmet, use a copy of the licence next time... I didn't get out of LP completely scot-free, however - the annoying 'shoes off' rule at the hotel led to an unfortunate packing oversight, and I am now down to flip-flops and motocross boots...

After Louang Prabang, Vientiane was a bit of a disappointment - not much was left standing after the Indochine wars, and there's very little to see or do, so I didn't stick around. Heading south from Vientiane, I had another little moment - I discovered a little too late that a road crew had left a liberal sprinkling of gravel on the outside of a tight corner, so my beautiful Touratech pannier now has a couple of neat armco grooves down the side - didn't think I'd be riding away from that one quite so easily...

Locals celebrating cover-yourself-in-charcoal-and-get-loaded-on-rice-wine day...

After such excitement, I pulled over at the side of the road to contemplate taking a little nap when - shock, horror - a couple of other overland bikers appeared. Being good Germans, Elmar "shaft drive" Juenger and Bjorn "don't call me falang" Holland were quite shocked that I should attempt my such a long trip on anything other than a BMW. However, we soon resolved our differences and had a night out in nearby Savannakhet. I was soon reminded of the benefits of riding solo - it took us almost an hour to find a restaurant that met the following conditions:

Rob: plenty of locals; no mouldy food on display
Elmar: traditional Lao cuisine
Bjorn: must be inside; no soup

We ended up eating overpriced Western food in a deserted restaurant, but at least the beer was free flowing and the conversation quickly turned to football and world wars.

Sourain Guest House becomes RTW HQ

On my way to the Cambodian border, I elected to spend the night on Khong Island, which was a good decision because I found some great hotels. It was quite a challenge finding the ferry, and after picking my way down a dirt track for a few kilometres (surely not a good sign that you're on the right road for a ferry...), I came across what was undoubtedly the sketchiest bridge yet. After some considerable encouragement from the local rubberneckers, I dismounted and walked the bike across - much as I love my Transalp, there was no need for both of us to plunge into a 20-foot ravine if the rotten planks gave way.

Admit it - you just want to see me fall...

On Khong Island, I stayed at the excellent Mekong Guest House with an incredible view of the river from my balcony. I also learned the secret of why Laos has so many good guesthouses - a lot of Lao folks who emigrated to the US, Australia and Canada during the war in the 1970s are returning in their 50s to reclaim property that was appropriated by the communists from their parents, and turning these properties into boutique hotels that meet the expectations of western guests (e.g., flushing toilets).

View from the balcony at sunset

On the way back from Khong Island the next morning, the ferry had just left when I arrived at the dock, so I reluctantly decided to get that "motorbike on canoe" photo...

Admit it - you just want to see me fall (#2)...

Now it seems that every waterfall in SE Asia is signposted, and thus far I not felt the need to check any of them out, but Khone Papheng on the Mekong is billed as the largest in SE Asia, so I took a small detour on my way to the Cambodian border, and I was not disappointed.

Khone Papheng - about as much of it as you can capture in a little camera...

At the border, leaving Laos was fairly straightforward (especially since there was no carnet to stamp out, which was a blessing since there sure as hell wasn't a customs office...). Entering Cambodia was a different matter altogether... The customs guy was asleep in his hammock when I arrived at his hut, and after filling in the form, he informed me that there was a $5 charge. Now of course I don't know for sure, but I was fairly certain that this was going straight into his back pocket, so I refused to pay, and the waiting game began. Obviously, he had the advantage of a hammock here, so I wandered across to the immigration hut to see if I could get things moving. We had a similar conversation there ($21 for the visa - where's the rate sheet? - OK sir, we know that you know that it should only be $20 (I didn't - must be getting good at this) but life here is difficult, and you don't have to pay the extra dollar if you don't want to - we don't know what the customs charge should be...). Bottom line - the border guard wouldn't let me cross without the customs form, so the customs guy had me by the short and curlies, and I was hoping to get to Phnom Penh by nightfall. He got his money and an almighty spray, which he'd obviously heard many times before.

Back on the road, and Northern Cambodia is very hot and very flat and the road's not bad, so I pushed on. I met Simon and Florina, a German/Swiss couple, at a filling station. They were heading up to Laos on a couple of Yamaha 150s that they bought in Bangkok, which they were beginning to regret because in Cambodia these are considered to be 'big bikes' so the local mechanics won't touch them. Which just goes to show that you can't go wrong with a Honda Super Cub - I don't think I've been more than 10 yards from one over the past couple of months. Bloody marvellous machines - providing transport to an entire planet. There are dozens of market stalls selling every conceivable new and used component in each city I've been to.

Simon and Florina - good effort!

Anyway, Simon and Florina seemed like a nice couple, so we wished each other luck, did the customary exchange (Laos map for Cambodia Lonely Planet), and went our separate ways. But not before Simon used my two favourite terms - "short cut" and "dirt road" - in a single sentence. He reckoned I could take 80km off the journey to Phnom Penh by riding along the riverbank at Kratie and cutting out a large bend in the R7. Which was absolutely right, and made the journey a lot more interesting by taking me past some traditional Cambodian villages.

It only takes one idiot to ruin a photo...

Now one of the rules that I'd set before I started the trip was no riding after dusk unless absolutely necessary, and it's one that I've bent on a number of occasions. But on the day I rode into Phnom Penh, I did almost 600km in a day which including some off-road, a ferry trip and a less-than-smooth border crossing. By the time I reached Kompong Cham, it was getting dark and I still had about 120km to go. Riding after dark in Thailand and Laos had been hairy, but it was nothing compared to Cambodia. The road was full of vehicles - bicycles, mopeds, ox-carts, juggernauts, you name it... The rule of big things operates here, i.e., small vehicles always give way to big things, so I frequently found myself blinded by an oncoming Land Cruiser doing about 120kph on my side of the road. To compound matters, there are no road markings, which makes it virtually impossible to see the edge of the road... After about 30 minutes of this, I decided I could significantly increase my life expectancy by following a large petrol tanker, which unfortunately had a maximum speed of about 40kph. Entering Phnom Penh, things got even crazier - mopeds everywhere, traffic lights completely ignored, city centre dirt roads, flashing neon lights - this place is mental!

Dilligaf

My trip to Mae Sai was primarily to do a visa run, i.e., nip across the Myanmar border into Tachilek, then return to Thailand for a new two-week visa. Because those annoying folks in Myanmar won't allow the temporary import of vehicles, I will have to fly the bike from Bangkok to Kathmandu later in the month. But I was curious to see what Myanmar was like. It had a distinct Indian flavour to it - a lot of curry stands, and plenty of red spit flying around. I know that border towns are seldom the most appealing places, but after less than an hour I was in the queue to return back to Thailand... enough said I think.

Crossing the bridge into Myanmar

From Mae Sai I took the 1290 to the Golden Triangle where Thailand, Myanmar and Laos meet at the confluence of the Mekong and Ruak rivers. The road is relatively flat and boring, and there's not much to do there, other than go to the Opium Museum, where I learned that the best position to smoke opium is called 'heels in buttocks'. I thought it might be like a brewery tour, but free samples at the end were not forthcoming. It was interesting to see the Mekong, although I think I will be seeing plenty more of it in Laos.

Don't worry mum - I'm wearing a money belt under my shirt...

At the end of the day, I headed to Chiang Rai along the 4004 and the 1209, which run along a flood plain, so not much sport there. I stayed at the excellent Kung Thong hotel on Sanambin (well, clean sheets, hot water and friendly staff is excellent in my book for 270 Baht).

The next day, I headed back to the west. After such great riding around Doi Ang Thang and Mae Salong, I was wondering if it was worthwhile to go back and do the 'Mae Hong Son loop', but it turned out to be one of the highlights of North Thailand. From Chiang Rai, the 118 to Wiang Pa Pao isn't too exciting, but the 1150 to the 107 is an absolute blinder - with lots of elevation changes and tight corners, it's a great road for sportsbikes. Just outside Phrao, I had a quick reality check - bits of moped and vegetables scattered across the road eventually led to the aftermath of a head-on crash between a step-thru and a pick-up. Not a pretty sight. Rather than pick my way through the crowd and the paramedics, I decided that a U-turn was the best course of action and stopped in Phrao for some lunch.

After some great mountain roads, I decided to finish the day with a bit of dirt. There's a 50km 'forestry trail' on the map from Kong Lom to Pai that's accessible from the 1322. The 1322 is a brilliant ride - more twisty mountain roads - but it dead-ends at the Myanmar border. At the checkpoint in Kong Lom, they reckoned it was a 4 hour ride to Pai, but it was already 3:30pm and it gets dark here at around 6:30, so I knew I had to push on. The first part really got the adrenaline going - incredibly steep climbs and descents, thick with bull dust, with hairpin corners and steep drop-offs. Past Muang Noi, it was a bit flatter so I could make much better progress, and I rolled into Pai at about 6pm.

Track into Pai from the north

I think I'll take my chances with the ford

As soon as I entered Pai, I could tell it was a bit different. Sure, it's predominantly another tourist town for people who want to trek in the nearby mountains, but it has a very distinct vibe. It's clean. It's genuinely 'arty' - real creative stuff, rather than the generic 'face of buddha' art you usually see in Thailand. They even close the road to cars for the night market. In a word, it's 'boutique'. In fact, it's so unique that the locals call it Pailand. Having bagged the San Franciscans for their Tolstoy-reading in Mae Salong, I have to give one back to the English - there are a lot of public schoolboys cruising around Pai on mopeds discussing their hangovers and which waterfall to visit today. But it's a cool place nevertheless.

The highlight for me in Pai was Dilligaf, a biker bar on Thanon Rungsiyanon run by Jan and his wife Gaew. Jan expained that Dilligaf stands for 'Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck', which after working in Holland for many years is his guiding principle. Since one of the motivations for this trip is to get a bit more Dilligaf in my life, I thought it made a good motto for the trip. Plus I liked the sticker, which now sits proudly on the screen under the Union Jack.

After a few Changs at Dilligaf, we finished the evening at the Bamboo Bar, where we sat on a bamboo terrace around a clay firepit - it can get a bit chilly up in the mountains. Unfortunately, the next day began with a bit of a hangover - four large (i.e., 660ml) Changs in one evening is a bit much, especially at 6.4%. However, after a hot day in the saddle, the first couple do tend to disappear fairly quickly, and they're only about one pound fifty. Hmm - one night in Pai and now I'm discussing my hangovers...

Accommodation at Charlie's Guest House was very good. The next day, I hit the legendary 1095 - much loved by bikers, and much feared by those travelling by bus. In fact, they say that some tour companies give certificates to people who finish the journey without puking. I rode the 100 or so kilometres to Mae Hong Son, and I must say that it's one of the very, very best roads I've ever seen - smooth as a ribbon and winding its way up to about 1,500 metres. Some of the corners are so long that you can forget which way is up... On a sportsbike it would be sublime, but other than a couple of old CB750s, I didn't see a single big bike.

No pukers please

At Mae Hong Son, I took a detour to see a Paduang village up in the mountains at Huai Sua Tao. They're famous for having long necks - which they do...

Longneck woman

Instead of doing the whole Mae Hong Son loop, which is about 520km, I turned off the 108 at Khun Yuam and took the 1263 to Mae Chaem, another pearler of a ride. It's a bit rougher and tighter, but that suits me fine on a dual sport. Mae Chaem was fairly unremarkable as a stop-over, but served as a good base for a trip up Doi Inthanon, the highest mountain in Thailand, which conveniently has a road leading right to the top. Once again, the 1192 and 1009 on either side of Doi Ithanon are stunning roads.

Doi Inthanon

By this stage, I was incredibly glad to have cut back from the Golden Triangle to ride a part of the Mae Hong Son loop. The roads to the north east and north west of Chiang Mai are a biker's dream, and to make the most of the area, you need to experience both. Jan had invited me back to Pai to ride with him and his mates, and I would have quite happily spent another couple of weeks exploring the area, but I'm conscious that the days are ticking by, so I decided to head back to Chiang Mai. Additionally, I've given the bike a lot of abuse over the past week, and I need to be mindful that there's a lot of ground yet to cover on this trip, and some of it will not be as amenable as Thailand.

I was planning to spend one night in Chiang Mai to collect my panniers, which I had left at the hotel, and prepare for the two day ride to Laos. Unfortunately I had my first 'Heston Blumenthal' moment of the trip that evening, and it really came on strong. Just as I thought things couldn't get worse, the lights went out - not a pleasant experience given the utter devastation I'd just wreaked on the bathroom - and I could hear a lot of sirens outside. It did briefly crossed my mind that the hotel might be burning down, and then the lights came back on and I was able to clean things up. But when I opened the curtains and looked out of the window, there was an almighty fire down the street. Tomorrow will be a recovery day, I think...