Er, which country is this please?

Over the past few weeks I've done the rockstar thing and jetted into Glastonbury for the weekend (well, Luton to be precise) and I'm back on the road in the Balkans.

Glastonbury was a blast and provided a gentle reintroduction to life in the UK - great music, happy people and even some sunshine (what do you mean England`s not usually like that???). Actually, it rained constantly from Thursday evening to Friday lunchtime, which completely justified Pete and Caroline renting a campervan, which seemed far too bourgeois when the trip was planned six months ago.

Slumming it at Glastonbury

That`s more like it...

So in keeping with tradition, the place turned into a quagmire and everyone got to wear their Hunter wellies, except for yours truly who decided to brave it out on flipflops. Which would have worked well except for the fact that I had absolutely no traction and needed a tow whenever the going got tough. The game was finally up when I got stuck in the mud and did irreparable damage to my footwear (apparently the technical term is 'blowing a plug'). Anyway, Neil Young rocked, Bruce Springsteen had the time of his life, and the company wasn't bad either...

Eminem called by at our campervan to say hello...

Not much to report from Istanbul - retrieving the bike from customs was the same frustrating ten-signature process as before, only in reverse and over ten different lunchbreaks. I managed to run out of petrol on the way back to the city, but fortunately the few drops in my stove were enough to get me to a filling station - good trick, that...

Back on the road, I headed north and crossed into Greece at Ipsala. Fortunately I had bothered to get green card insurance from Arisa, because I was asked to show it at the border. Unfortunately, the cover note was still in the mail. But my new iPhone came to the rescue, because I had received a copy by email. Now the customs officer was clealy bamboozled by the technology and wanted me to go back to Turkey to buy another policy, but I utilised my 'firm' negotiating approach (I've been trying to do 'polite but firm', but I can't pull it off), and his boss relented. So I'm claiming to be the first person to achieve an e-crossing into Greece...

On to Thessaloniki, which has changed massively since I was there as a teenager (or maybe it was because I was too broke / stupid to go beyond 100 metres from the railway station back then). Anyway, the waterfront is very fancy, the girls scrub up really well, and the party keeps going all night, even on a Wednesday.

The original plan was to head from there to Naples to visit some friends, but it turned out they were all going to be on holiday (next time I'll give them less notice), so I decided to collect some more stamps in the passport and head through the Balkans. Some of those countries are so small that they should really be called counties... In fact I managed to pass through the first two without spending any money, which is my idea of a successful visit...

Peaceful Albanian scenery? Look closely for gun placements in the background...

Admittedly, I stayed at the Sheraton in Tirana and busted out the frequent flyer card for a free stay - I'd been keeping the points in reserve in case I got really stuck anywhere, but they tend not to have Westins in the hotspots of the world, so I figured it was time to cash in on those many months of servitude as a consultant for a hot bath and a comfy bed.

If only all my hotel rooms had been like this...

I offset this indulgence by dining on bread and cheese that I'd been carrying from Greece, thus avoiding the need to change any money into Leks. On the way to Tirana, I managed to pass through FYROM (that's Macedonia to you) in an hour and a half (including a 20 minute kip), and I never even found out what currency they use...

Ever wondered what Macedonia looked like? No, neither had I

Albania was nicer than expected, with some fetching commie-era relics and a breakers yard every kilometrew. Surprisingly, the place is full of cars with UK licence plates - mercedes e-classes to be precise. In fact, most of the cars on the road are mercedes e-classes with Italian number plates, german number plates... I was told that most of the working population have left the country, and are just back for their holidays...

Is that a gun, or are you just pleased to see me?

Onwards and upwards, to Montenegro (I guess FYROM was already taken). Now when I was at primary school, I think I could name every capital city in the world (I was a lonely child...). But Podgorica was a new one for me - although to be fair the whole population is less than half a million. Combine that with some mountains and you end up with fantastic biking roads. Once in a while on this trip, I have a 'wow' moment where I have to stop the bike and take some totally inadequate photos of a stunning view, and I cetainly had one of those on the road from Cetinje to Kotor, which winds it's way from a cliff about a kilometre high to a beautiful medieval port with mountains on all sides (google it!) over the Trojica pass.

View from the Trojica Pass

I was planning on pushing on to Dubrovnik, but it was 6pm, I was hungry, and Kotor looked interesting, so I figured out what currency they use and stopped for the night in Montenegro (it's Euros, in case that question ever comes up in a pub quiz).

Kotor - the super-yachts are just starting to arrive...